New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
She told me I should be a condom model.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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