I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
My dick has a subreddit
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
