my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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