I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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