we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
