Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
