i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize