I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
as a side note pls kill me
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
