I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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