Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
