Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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