theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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