Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
