I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
