Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
