he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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