he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
