you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
