ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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