It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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