I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We were destined to go to rehab together
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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