Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
