I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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