Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my being single is dangerous.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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