So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
