is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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