I can text with my tongue
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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