dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
