You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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