If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
