I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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