when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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