are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
