You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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