so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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