think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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