All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The beers last night were like the tears from god
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
