carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
