He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
