Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
