Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
