I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
