My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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