My nipple is on Facebook.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You're like the curious george of whores
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I have aggressive nipples.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
