I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
