in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
