Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
What happened to fro yo and sex?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
