sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
