okay pat passed out under dana's car
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
