Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
