barbara walters just said penis...
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
