The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize